The Queen of Hearts raffle at McNally’s on Western Ave on the South Side rolled over, rolled over again, and rolled over some more. Finally, at the end of August, a winner was crowned, taking home well over a million buckaroos!
Queen of Hearts raffles have really been gaining steam from parish to parish, neighborhood to neighborhood in Chicago. Reminds me of the big poker boom circa 2003 when every asshole on the block bought the darkest tinted sunglasses and had white gloves to open their briefcase full of chips that cost $23 at Kohl’s.
The St. Cajetan’s raffle was different, however. The first drawing was in September of 2017. This thing transformed from a tiny raffle into a Roth IRA. The pot landed at over 2.5 million dollars, with the winner getting half.
Finally, someone won! What a ride it was. McNally’s announced it on their Facebook page, but didn’t include a winner. Comments started trickling in, asking if they were from the neighborhood. One comment, sadly, pointed out that they were a dentist from Darien. A fucking DENTIST!!! I demand a re-count until a South Side Irish winner is awarded the lump sum.
Could you imagine being what I would assume is middle aged male or female, waking up, going to work, then going to get drunk at an Irish pub in Morgan Park and winning what it took you 15 years to make? That would be the last you’d hear of me.
There’s a reason I haven’t been told who won. First of all, I would immediately ask for 0.005% to keep quiet, which I would be very happy with, and would be a drop in the bucket to the lucky winner. Secondly, I would turn into Jimmy from “Better Call Saul”, and find everyone this jagoff ever wronged. All the people this bastard owed money to over the years would be lined up down the block, ready to collect at all hours.
At the end of the day, whoever you are, good for you. Just don’t show your face in the neighborhood again. Stay west of 294 for the rest of time. You stole from several blue collar folks. Despite winning fair and square, it still feels dirty.