Look, I’m sure many of you reading this have thrown some fairytale at the boys about you hooking up with “this girl by your lake house” all summer long That’s fine. I’m all for faking it ’til you’re making it. But to expect me to believe you is another story. That’s how you find yourself deep inside a Worst Person Wednesdays blog. You could flex on us with your fable ’til the cows come home and earn your counterfeit credit from the suckers that don’t call BS. But I just spent the last 3 years of my life hanging out with you, have never once seen you talk to a girl, and now you’re telling me you rounded second with a front page model in Wisconsin (a Chicago 6). Come no now.
The younger we were, the better it was. You’d have some kid in your 5th grade homeroom telling you how he had this Danny Zuko Sandy Olsson esque summer loving deal going on. I mean looking back now it’s funnier than hilarious, but when I was 13 and had some squid convincing me he had sex by the ocean then it was an A+ worst person. Once had a kid tell me he almost got a girl pregnant when we were 12. Pretty sure we found out later that he just humped her leg while they were both wearing jeans. Denim on demin action. Need to hear some other people’s stories regarding this on twitter.com, too good not to share with the class – @DannyJConrad @NeighborhooDive.